“I wish for nothing but my crucifix; it is my treasure, my strength, my consolation.”

(Words of the Sister.)

In narrating an account of the last illness and death of Sister Mary St. Peter, we shall simply reproduce the account written by order of the venerable prioress of the Carmelites, Mother Mary of the Incarnation. This faithful testimony of the sanctity of our holy religious, will be received with respect by the pious reader, which will warrant its insertion in these pages.

“Our dear sister foresaw her approaching dissolution; in several of her letters she plainly stated that Our Lord had made known to her the time of her death; although not aware of the precise moment, yet she spoke of it as a thing near at hand. However, she enjoyed very good health, and we observed no indications that her career was to be so short. She was frequently subject to head-aches, and we noticed that she suffered particularly on Fridays. From the moment she made an entire abandonment of herself to God for the accomplishment of his designs, she gradually pined away. The fire of divine love and her zeal for the salvation of souls slowly consumed her; the responsibility of the work which she bore as she said, with incredible pain, contributed still more to immolate the victim; but very little of all this was apparent, as Sister St. Peter, ever exact and fervent, continued to fulfil the duties prescribed by the rule. In the summer of 1847, to the great joy of our dear sister, the work of reparation was canonically established.

“Discharged of the burden which rendered her existence so painful, her soul was inundated with delight; happiness beamed from her eyes, her health seemed to improve, she even became sufficiently strong to observe the fast of the ensuing lent; but at the very moment when the Church celebrated the Passion of Our Lord, a long martyrdom began for this dear sister, whose life so full of merit, was fast drawing to a close. On the 30th of March, Jesus announced that she was nearing the goal. From this moment she thought only of heaven; she loved to converse on this subject; burning words escaped her lips proving the ardor which consumed her.”

“The events which had just taken place in France(1) had excited her to new zeal, and the appearance of the evils which she had announced and which now threatened her country induced her to the performance of a most heroic act of charity. On Good Friday, at three o’clock, she prostrated herself on the ground to adore Jesus Christ expiring. At that very instant she perceived that the enormous weight of divine anger was about to fall heavily upon mankind; immediately renewing her act of perfect abandonment, she offered herself as a victim to ward off the dreadful blows of divine justice.”

“Our Lord seemed to have been waiting for this last generous act, before immolating his courageous victim; a cruel malady immediately declared itself, which reduced her to the fast extremity. We hastened to lavish the most assiduous care on our dear sister; the doctor was called and pronounced the disease mortal. Our dear invalid herself suspected the gravity of her condition, therefore, we could warn her of the imminent danger without fear; there was only one thing capable of causing her regret: ‘The sorrow of leaving you, and of quitting this dear community forever; but I shall pray for you in heaven. I must sacrifice my life for the Work God has confided to me.’”

“Before leaving her cell for the last time, she begged a sister to go before the Blessed Sacrament (not being able to do so herself) to ask the blessing of Our Lord that she might suffer worthily all that it would please him to ordain. Arriving at the infirmary, she cast a glance around the apartment which seemed to say: ‘I shall never go forth from here.’ And in truth, this spot was to be the last stage of her virtues and her sufferings. One of the sisters desired to bring some little objects of piety from her cell in order that she might continue to enjoy them, but she refused saying: ‘It is now that all must be sacrificed.’”

“However, we had some faint hope; the desire of prolonging so holy a life urged us to use every means within the power of science to preserve it. The resources of art were unavailing in her case, so we had recourse to the Blessed Virgin. Our dear sister on hearing of this, in her humility, said: ‘I am of so little use and my health is so poor, why do you pray for my recovery? I will never get better.’ As she was suffering much corporally some one said to her: ‘Beg Our Lord to relieve you somewhat.’ ‘No,’ she replied, ‘as regards sacrifice and sufferings I have never asked anything in particular from God, neither have I ever refused anything.’”

“When she took to bed never more to rise, she was deeply penetrated with the judgment of God. Forgetful of the favors by which she had been overwhelmed, she thought only of her sins and of imploring pardon for them. This sentiment of humility in a soul of such purity is easily explained, if we consider the light she had received on her own misery. She was frequently beheld shedding tears. On being asked the cause, she replied: ‘O Mother, when I think of the judgment of God, I cannot but weep for my sins.’”

“Her disease was hasty consumption, but other complaints added to the intensity of her sufferings, and made the most frightful ravages. A burning and continual fever devoured her; her throat was ulcerated, and her tongue and mouth as if pierced with thorns, (we must recollect that Our Lord had told her she must suffer for blasphemers).”

“The nights flew by one after the other without bringing her the slightest repose; every position on her bed of agony became a new source of torture; she was therefore obliged to keep the same posture for a length of time together, consequently large wounds were formed in her body, and her sufferings were almost incredible.”

“During the two months and a half that her illness lasted, she took no food, a liquid substance in small quantities, was all that she could retain. Twice a day she took a little milk which she offered to the Blessed Virgin before drinking; this never caused her any pain. She became quite emaciated, her face alone retaining its natural hue; her skin shrivelled up as though she had passed through fire. The frightful state to which she was now reduced, seemed to indicate a speedy end. Her patience was ever unflinching, her union with God uninterrupted, and her spirit of sacrifice as entire, as unreserved as ever. In the midst of her suffering, her docility, innocence and childlike simplicity appeared in every movement.”

“To encourage her in these sentiments, we spoke to her of the Child Jesus and of all the graces she had received through the mysteries of his childhood. To which, she said: ‘Our Lord was then instructing me in the science of the Cross.’ Alas! our poor sister had until now, but tasted of the bitter chalice which she was to quaff even to the dregs. She was animated by the most tender confidence in God and an ardent desire for heaven; at the thought of her death, she was overcome with joy. ‘My hour has come!’ she repeated, ‘soon my chains will be broken. When shall I behold thee, O celestial abode! When, O my God, shall I see thee face to face?”

“If any one spoke to her of heaven, her whole figure became animated: ‘O heaven! my home, my eternal dwelling-place! thou art the only object of my desires! Ah! when shall I take my flight from this dreary earth!’”

“These, and other beautiful passages from the canticles, she frequently repeated. On beholding her one would have thought that a ray of beatitude had already penetrated her soul. Her brow was serenely tranquil, and a pleasant smile played about her lips, which only opened to murmur the name of God. Long would we stand observing her, before she raised her eyes, so absorbed was she in profound recollection.”

“At the beginning of June, she was so much worse that she, herself, asked for the last sacraments; the danger was imminent and all haste was made to comply with her request. She received the Holy Viaticum and the Extreme Unction with the greatest piety, and asked pardon of the community in the most touching manner. After the last rites had been administered, several sisters remained praying beside the bed: her countenance was radiant: she seemed to be in a sort of ecstasy, we could not behold without being penetrated with devotion, and moved even to tears. After some minutes had elapsed, we approached the bed and asked if she were not sleeping: ‘Oh! no,’ she replied, ‘I am entertaining myself with Our Lord.’ ‘Are you then, very happy?’ ‘Oh! yes, mother, I desire nothing more. I now possess my All!’”

“On Friday, the 16th of June, she passed through a terrible crisis: the community assembled in the infirmary to recite the prayers of the agonizing. The dear, sick sister, who was in full possession of her faculties, united with us by fervent aspirations, but she suffered most cruelly. Suddenly, she passed into a supernatural state, the effects of which were very evident. When our sisters pronounced these words: Maria mater gratia, mater misericordia, she spontaneously raised her hands to heaven, as would a child perceiving its mother. She remained a long time in this posture, although, a few minutes before, her arms were so stiff and powerless that we could not succed in making her form the sign of the cross. Then, at two different times she extended her arms in the form of a cross, to die as a victim, and when a sister tried to prevent her, she exclaimed: ‘Oh! Let me remain thus, it is a duty I must fulfil.’”

“She took alternately her crucifix and a little statue of the Infant Jesus, which she never let out of her sight, and covered them with kisses, pressing them to her heart. Then holding up the Infant Jesus as high as possible, she solemnly but quietly pronounced these words: ‘Eternal Father, I once more offer thee this adorable Infant, thy Divine Son, in expiation of my sins and those of all mankind, for the needs of our holy mother the Church, for France, for the Reparation. Amiable Jesus, I remit this work into thy hands, for it I have lived, for it shall I die!’ Then she placed the little statue on her head, saying: ‘Divine Infant, cover my guilty life with the merits of thy precious blood: renew my soul in innocence and grace; clothe me with thy robe of purity, thy spirit of humility. Oh! come with me when I shall depart this life; come, O my Jesus, come, tarry no longer! Mary, my tender Mother, come to claim my soul!’ She pronounced these and other ejaculations with so much love, that it were vain attempting to convey an adequate idea to the reader; they were like sparks of fire escaping from a furnace. She begged pardon of God for all her sins, then of the community, shedding torrents of tears, thanking the sisters for all the care they had lavished upon her and adding: ‘Oh! my sisters, how happy, to die a Carmelite!’”

“Then adressing us: ‘Adieu, mother,’ said she, ‘give me your blessing. I shall soon appear before God. I am so happy to die in your arms.’ She testified her gratitude for the care we had taken of her soul; after which she said: ‘The hour has arrived. O Jesus, come!’ Shortly after, crossing her arms on her breast, she said: ‘Father into thy hands, I commend my spirit.’ She remained for some moments recollected, and then returned to her ordinary state. During this touching scene, it was evident that something extraordinary was passing in her soul.”

“During her illness, Sister St. Peter received the Blessed Sacrament as often our holy rules permitted. She longed for this favor, finding in the Eucharist all her strength, all her consolation. According to her custom, she prepared for its reception from the eve, and as she was deprived of sleep, passed the entire night in amorous colloquies. Several of the sisters who watched by her bedside during the night, assured us that that they have never passed the time more profitably. Once, our pious sister was unable to contain her joy when it was announced to her that she was going to communicate the next morning.”

“To-morrow morning, my divine Spouse, full of tenderness, will come to strengthen my weakness!’ and from time to time she added: My well-beloved appears not yet: O night, too long, wilt thou last forever!’ She then took the statue of the Infant Jesus, and while embracing it, begged pardon for her faults, conjuring him to purify the heart of his little servant; then, as if offering him to the Eternal Father, she held it up high, and remained one full hour in this fatiguing position without making the least movement.”

“Another time, we hesitated in having the Holy Communion brought her for fear that her conscience might not be well at ease, for she had passed a most miserable night and seemed much depressed: but Sister St. Peter had not forgotten the promise made her. In the morning, from the moment she perceived me, she said: ‘Mother, I am waiting for my God: when will He come? Oh! how I long for him! How much need I have of Him!’ “We were obliged to yield to her entreaties and had the holy communion brought her.”

“One day, after receiving the Holy Eucharist, a sister remarked an expression of sanctity on her face which struck her forcibly. She could not look at her for any length time because of the rays of glory which she beheld on her countenance. Our dear, sick sister received anew the holy viaticum on the feast of the most Holy Trinity, patronal feast of the arch-confraternity of Reparation. She had a great desire to die on that day, but Jesus decided otherwise. Some time after, I went to the infirmary to see her. ‘Mother,’ said she, ‘I shall remain a little longer on earth, for my soul is not yet purified; but during this time, I shall suffer most cruelly, for Our Lord has attached me to the cross, and I  shall remain there until my last sigh. Give me no more care, no more consolation, I must now suffer; I desire to think of nothing but eternity.”

I wish to remain alone with God, for I can scarcely speak any more; they think I sleep, but I am occupied solely with him. Soon shall I contemplate his adorable Face, soon I shall be singing his praises for an entire eternity. Oh! how fervently I shall then pray for the Church, for France, for the Reparation!’… ‘But,’ said I to her, ‘have you no fear of having been in illusion, or have you no disquietude for having followed your own ideas rather than those of God?’ ‘No, not at all,’ she replied in a grave and solemn manner. ‘I might have been deceived, as I have always said, but I can certify now, as I am soon to appear before God, that I have never acted of myself in this matter. It has cost me dearly, but I have never taken one step but in obedience to the will of God!’”

“‘In all that I have written by order of my superiors, I have always spoken in the sincerity of my soul. By the grace of God, I have nothing to reproach myself on this subject, and I am perfectly tranquil.’ Have you any hope for the future of France? ‘I have the greatest confidence; the wicked will not succeed in their evil designs, peace will be restored; it is for this purpose that reparation has been established. My course is run, as Our Lord has declared to me, for the Work of Reparation is established. It was for this Work that God placed me in the world, it is this Work which will pave France.’”

“‘O God! how good thou art! How boundless is thy mercy! He wills not that his little servant be separated from him after her death, and he purifies her entirely before admitting her to his presence. Never, never could I have believed that he would have given me this grace, if I had not heard it from his own lips… The holiness of God is so great that I thought I would have remained in purgatory until the end of the world. But now I must suffer, I must fulfil the designs of God. Oh! how true it is that his justice has means of satisfying itself far beyond the reach of our poor comprehension!’… In effect, this generous soul soon entered on a new path of suffering.”

‘No, she used to say, nothing now but suffering, let God act as he will.’ If anything were suggested, she would say: ‘I shall take it if given me, but I shall not ask for anything. Yet she yielded more through love for obedience, than to the necessities of nature, following the common path, taking whatever was prescribed her. But henceforth, we could give her no remedy or relief for her ills, on the contrary all that was prescribed seemed to add to her sufferings. Not a single complaint ever passed her lips. Sometimes the excess of her sufferings would cause her to break out into plaintive sighs of resignation, as for instance: ‘My God! how I suffer!! have pity on me, aid me, abandon not thy little servant. Thou knowest, O Lord, I am thy victim, but I beg of thee to forget me not. How admirable are thy ways, O God! Let us adore his holy will! How long the time is! How ardently I sigh for my well-beloved! My sweet Jesus art thou not going to let me die! Come, Lord Jesus, come, and tarry not!’ During her worst hours of agony, she said in a tone and manner impossible to portray: ‘How terrible is the severity of divine justice! My God! thou art so rigorous! What agony I endure!! Oh! my divine Spouse how bitter to me art thou who hast always been so sweet and loving!’”

“In order to sustain and encourage her during these moments of desolation, we recalled to her mind that she had offered herself to God for the accomplishment of his designs. ‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘and I do not repent of it; ray God, I desire all that thou dost desire, and if it were necessary, I would be willing to suffer even to the end of the world.’ Being asked where she suffered the most: ‘In all parts of my body, I am undergoing a universal martyrdom: my bed is a purgatory where I burn! the fire consumes me, every instant seems a century.’”

“I do not ask of God to abridge or alleviate my sufferings, but I call upon the hour of my deliverance. Oh! My sweet Jesus, when shall I be united to thee forever!’ She also loved to repeat: ‘I die a daughter of the Church, and of Carmel.’ During the most violent pains she used to say in a suppliant tone which drew forth tears from those around: ‘I implore you to demand patience for me, I can no longer suffer, speak to me of heaven, speak of God.” She would seize her crucifix and kiss it unceasingly. ‘I desire nothing but my crucifix, it is my treasure, my strength and my consolation; I keep my eyes continually fixed upon him, for he encourages me to suffer; yes, my Lord is crucified and I am crucified with him.’”

“She often asked us to offer her sufferings in union with those of Jesus, and when once she was desired to apply them for a particular intention, she said: ‘I do not know if I can, for I am entirely consecrated to the Reparation, I am a victim, but, obedience will decide the question.’”

“In the meantime, the innocent soul, over whom Satan seemed to be unable to gain any power, was suddenly assailed by all the powers of darkness; it was necessary that her entire being should be offered as a holocaust, and that she should undergo all kinds of temptation. She said, ‘It is but a part of my penance.’ During the last days of her life she was a victim to all the malice of the devil, she believed that there was one of these infernal spirits continually at her side, urging her to murmur and impatience, uttering blasphemies in her ear, even suggesting thoughts of despair. She seemed to be extremely uneasy and would not remain alone for an instant; she had recourse to the Blessed Virgin; but soon the enemy redoubled all his fury against her. ‘Oh!’ exclaimed she, ‘how I suffer! My God, I can resist no longer, have pity on me.’ As a last resource she prayed to the holy Infant Jesus, the tender object of her devotion, and she placed on her neck the “Little Gospel” of the circumcision. The virtue of be Holy Name of Jesus dispelled all the illusions of the enemy; the devouring fever, the terrible temptations— all ceased at that instant, and she became most wonderfully calm.”

“Toward the end of her illness she was honored by the visit of Mgr. Morlot: the venerable archbishop was anxious to come and see her to give her his benediction for the last time; a great consolation which the dear sister fully appreciated! She was also assisted by our ecclesiastical superior, and was most earnest in testifying her joy and gratitude for this privilege. A benefactress of the house, who as such, was privileged to enter the cloister, begged the mother superior one day to allow her to receive a last blessing from Sister Mary St. Peter. This favor could not be granted as the mere mention of it would have frightened the humility of our pious invalid. However, she was admitted and soon reached the sick bed. Sister Mary St. Peter was apparently sleeping, but she was in reality profoundly absorbed in God. After having regarded her for some time without wishing to disturb her, the pious benefactress prepared to withdraw, when suddenly, the sister seized the little statue of the Infant Jesus, and without a word, made the sign of the cross over the venerable lady, thus giving the blessing which had been vainly implored. The lady, beholding the spontaneous act, was deeply touched.”

“The pure soul of our languishing victim had recovered its peace and tranquillity, yet her body was a continual prey to excruciating sufferings which became more and more poignant as the time of her dissolution approached. On Friday, July 7th, her death agony began, but she was in full possession of all her mental faculties to the last. As it was thought she would not survive the night, we recited the prayers and recommendations for the dying. This last night was passed by our dear sister in the most acute sufferings; she frequently called for holy water, and kept united to God by fervent aspirations. I remained at her side, for she seemed to feel great consolation when I was present, she even implored me with tears not to leave her. However, at dawn I withdrew for a few moments. During my absence, she wished to change her position, and needed help; (for many days she had been unable to make any movement) she was told I had recommended she should not be moved, but that if her sufferings were too intense, they would presume my permission and try to change her posture. But she would not consent. ‘No, no,’ said she, ‘we must obey to the last.’”

“She responded to all the prayers we suggested, kissing her crucifix continually, pressing it to her heart repeating: ‘He is all mine, and I am all his. What happiness!’ I returned to the bedside of Sister St. Peter and she exclaimed: ‘Mother, when?’ I replied: ‘When the Spouse, comes, is it not?’ She answered by an affirmative sign, and I continued: ‘Soon, my child, in a very few moments.’ She appeared satisfied and composed. Recollecting that Our Lord had promised in one of her communications to re-establish in her soul the image of God at the hour of her death, she bogged to renew her baptismal vows, and as a symbol of the grace which she desired to receive, asked for some holy water, and made the sign of the cross on her head saying: ‘Child, I baptize thee in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.’ Then joining her hands, she added: ‘I renounce Satan with all his works and pomps. I desire to belong to Jesus Christ forever.’ A few moments before this, she seemed to undergo a painful combat, but after this little ceremony, her countenance beamed with peace and happiness; one would have said that she was a child just after being baptized, or an angel about to wing its flight to the realms above. From this moment till her last sigh, she never ceased praying; the sweat of death covered her face, her body was already cold and stiff, yet her livid lips kept repeating: ‘Jesus, Mary, Joseph. Come, Lord Jesus.’ Sit Nomen Domini benedictum! These were the last words we were able to distinguish, the movement of her lips continued, but in an unintelligible manner. Soon she heard nothing more, her eyes closed, and as if in a last resemblance to her Divine Master, she uttered a cry and calmly expired, in the presence of the whole community.”

1. Revolution called, days of February.